Mango, I Choose You! + Awesomer (review)

Yesterday Rob told me the news that I would be moving into Mona's old room- and I needed to celebrate. I went to the grocery store and bought and ripest mango I could find, and a firm block of smoked gouda. After I came home from the grocery store I went on a long hike, hoping to make it all the way to Apex, but I decided to turn back after wiping a mosquito out from the corner of my left eye. I don't roll like that. When I got home, I sliced that mango up and ate half of the gouda- my dad came home from work and told me that mango was a "fag fruit". Redundancy never tasted so good!

It's no small secret that I can't wait until August because it means I'm able to get the fuck outta here- once and for all, but it has recently come to my attention that there are more reasons to look forward to next month. In fact, there are at least 4 additional reasons.

1) The Mars Volta (what, the greatest modern rock band is coming out with a new album BEFORE the summer is over, how can I not get excited?) - Amputechture on August 22nd
2)Kaki King (she trades in her sick-ass ovation acoustic for a freaking electric!) - Until We Felt Red on August 8th
3)Matt Freidberger (one half of The Fiery Furnaces is releasing two seperate solo albums- packaged together!) - Winter Women / Holy Ghost Language School also on August 8th
and last but not least
4)The "Find Your Inner Tobias" Party. (If you haven't seen Arrested Developement before, it doesn't mean you can't get drunk while wearing cut offs, smeared in blue paint, and rocking out to the Blue Man Group!)

Man I wish I had brought some of that sweet fag fruit to work with me.

Oh, and you'll buy Oneida's "Happy New Year" on July 11th if you know what's good for you (american krautrock, that's what!).

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Blood on the Wall - Awesomer

Blood on the Wall are a group of indie-rock alchemists from New York; mixing the blood of the Minutemen, the sex juice of Sonic Youth, and the pubes of The Pixies into a concoction that's as shamelessly fun as it is self-aware, and as manic as it is laid-back. “Stoner Jam” steps in with a swagger, black sunglasses, and barely a shrug, but as “Heat from the Day” crashes the party- bottles are smashed, furniture is set ablaze, and some guy you didn’t invite is admiring the deuce he just dropped from the window onto unsuspecting passers-by and screaming “Hey, You! Get the fuck off my cloud!”. While a joyous riot, there's little substance to Awesomer's angular, terrible racket. The album practically reads like the cliff-notes any veteran indie-hipster has already memorized- or at least written on the inside of their palm (cheaters- I'm on to you!). A dash of D.C. Hardcore there, a little Loveless here- you get the picture.

Sister Courtney Shanks has that pack-a-day smoker seductress appeal, and her bass has a smooth, deep tone that keeps the groove tight throughout the night. Her brother Brad on the other hand, is an altogether different story. His broken-glass guitar riffs and shrill, squealing pipes make for a listening experience that would cause Frank Black to wince- wailing lyrics that smack of “everyone is gonna know I wrote these five minutes on used napkins before band practice, and it’s gonna be so awesome”. And much as I'd like to criticize, it is pretty awesome. Nay, it's Awesomer. So go ahead- drink your face off, shake your ass, pick your friends up off the floor, and try not to get a bangover.

-Christian